3. DON'T SAY: I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS...Please don't sing for the DJ! A DJ is very busy and doesn't have time to play 20 questions to figure out what you want to hear.
4. DON'T' SAY: WILL YOU PLAY (INSERT TRACK NAME HERE) EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!....Oh sure, you polled EVERYONE and, as their spokesperson, you are requesting the song.
5. DON'T ASK FOR A REQUEST AND THEN END WITH - I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT!....If you are GOOD ENOUGH, you can get laid to anything!! (also been known as "buy the album and get laid for a month!")
6. DON'T SAY: I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!....The only people who can get away with that statement write the DJ a paycheck! We have many requests a night... we'll play your track as soon as we can! Don't worry!
7. DON'T SAY: I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA HEAR...WHAT DO YOU HAVE?It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of EVERY track in his/her collection. Energy has around 15,000 for example.
8. DON'T SAY: HEY DJ, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!It is not advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but, some people do anyway)! However, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement.
9. DON'T SAY: EVERYBODY WILL DANCE TO IT IF YOU PLAY IT! Did you poll everyone in the club? Because you probably didn't ask the DJ... it's likely that the DJ won't...I guess that blows a hole in that theory!
10. CAN YOU PLAY SOME HIP-HOP?If you're at a club or listening to a radio station that doesn't play any Hip-hop, don't ask "you got any hip-hop"? If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn't ask for Italian food. Rock clubs play rock, alternative clubs play alternative, discos play disco, etc. If you need a hip-hop fix, just go outside to your car and slide your CD in or watch Much Music because they blast it 24 hours a day!
*** SOME ASSORTED THINGS NOT TO SAY ***
If you ask for a song and the D.J. says he just played it, DON'T SAY, "Well, I just got here." It makes absolutely no difference. It's more likely for us to play it later in the night to keep you listening longer...
DON'T SAY, "Is this the only kind of music you play?" Again, if you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn't ask for Italian food. Rock clubs play rock, alternative clubs play alternative, discos play disco, etc., etc., etc...
If you ask for a song, BE SPECIFIC. DON'T SAY, "I wanna hear something, anything but this!" Try going to the bar and saying, "I wanna drink something, anything but this..." You can't complain if you're not SPECIFIC.
HOWEVER, if you ARE specific and the DJ says he doesn't have the song, DON'T SAY, "What?!! What do you mean you don't have it? What kind of DJ are you? Why don't you get into the wonderful world of fast food! You obviously don't know what you're doing as a DJ!"---sorry HMV closes at 9pm (6pm on weekends).
Special Note:
A DJ gets very little respect. They are expected to play everything for everybody. It is impossible to satisfy all the people all of the time, yet jocks are expected to do just that.
Ask once for your song and the DJ will try and play it. Keep asking and you're being a pain in the ass! Don't send all your friends to request the same song hoping to get it played. DJ's aren't that stupid!! They get dozens of requests in a night and we try to play them all... but asking for 5 songs 10 minutes before the show is over just won't work... sometimes there isn't enough time to play them all.
And above all, if the DJ has one hand on the mixer, one hand on a TURNTABLE, wearing headphones, and has the monitor speaker turned up- please be patient. We'll be right with you. You don't have to poke us, yell at us etc... we see you!
Signed,
The DJ
And to answer your question, yes, Bill Porter and I are available to DJ your next event. Send us an e-mail at jc.coutts@chumkawartha.ca to hire us!
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